When I was growing up, since I was spitting distance from Quebec, we had a channel on the TV in French. I used to watch the Smurfs in French as a kid, not having any idea what they were saying, but finding it all the more amusing that way. The program lineup was pretty much exactly like our TV shows except in French.
Now that I live in the South, the token multicultural station is in Spanish. The programs on Univision are not at all like our TV shows. In fact, I've yet to see one resembling anything normal. Last night I was flipping channels and came across a Spanish nightmare. It was the most fucked up program I've ever seen in my life, and I don't see how it would have been any less terrifying if I actually spoke Spanish.
I guess it was some kind of talk show? First, there was a host and a presenter girl (a la The Price is Right) talking about Coors Light, which in Mexico is apparently bottled in strange, long cans that look like Red Bull. Then there was a creepy midget bodybuilder wearing black shorts and a tank top and sporting cornrows. I think he belonged to the program as well. Then a lady performed ... "music." She was this bleach blonde, wearing what amounted to Slave Leia's gold getup with a white nightie over it, and part of her song required her to point to her right boob and then to her head. I can't fathom what words that was meant to convey.
And then the midget was dancing! Hanging out by the couch, doing a little roll with the fists and bopping around. It scared the shit out of me.
Tonight while flipping, there's an awards show. Everyone in the audience has orange pom-poms and the guy performing has his afro split into ponytails. I kept flipping.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
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4 comments:
Are you sure you weren't watching a Twin Peaks rerun? :):)
You have every right to be disturbed. This sort of thing should be restricted to the Cannes Film Festival and then never spoken of again. Take three doses of NyQuil and go to bed thinking of the Beatle's Yellow Submarine. It won't stop the nightmares but it makes the experience more interesting as it is in english.
Doc
Some of those Spanish shows are completely surreal. Have you seen "Sabado Gigante"? Most of the guys I know watch Univision to look at all of the hot, scantily-clad women they fill the screen with, despite not understanding a word that's being said.
Back in the 90s when I was going through a phase of trying to pick up Spanish, I used to watch Univision. As the previous poster mentioned, "Sabado Gigante" is something else. I also used to watch a telenovella that starred Erik Estrada called "Dos mujeres, un camino" (also known as Two Women, One Direction).
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